Truck Drivin’ Hero Read online

  A response came a few seconds later. The voice was quite a bit younger than Max’s, but he should have expected that the boss wouldn’t be manning the radio himself. “Hero, this is Mad Max. We read you five by five.”

  “Yeah, kid. Tell your boss that the Greys aren’t aware of the solar storm.” He hung the handset back up, knowing that he’d be talking to the real boss in a minute. He could just see the kid running through the halls of the base to find the real Max.

  “What do you mean, the Greys aren’t aware of the solar storm?” Apple asked.

  Hero chuckled. “You’re the college girl, Doctor Smith. Weren’t you paying attention?”

  Apple scoffed. “Enlighten me. How do you know that they don’t know about it?”

  Hero held up a finger. “Number one. That alien was out in the sun, with nothing but sunglasses for those big dumb black eyes that they have for protection.”

  “The radiation has barely picked up. It’s just barely enough to cause their communications network to occasionally fail, and the ground-based sensor network to get false readings,” Apple pointed out. “Maybe they're just waiting for it to get worse.”

  “But that alien was already in pain from it. By mid-day, he would have been succumbing to radiation poisoning. Hell, we might have saved his life just now.”

  “Maybe he was going to go inside before noon.”

  “Seems like a helluva risk to take just to check some IDs,” Hero said. He held up a second finger. “Number two. He continued to pass documents to the robot, who was unable to contact their computers. Both of them seemed surprised by this.”

  Apple opened her mouth, then shut it.

  “Number three,” Hero said, holding up another finger. “The car they got into was a custom 2024 or 2025 model Crown Vic. I’ve never even seen one in Iowa. I didn’t hear a gas engine when it drove off, and that thing is probably computerized to hell and back. If you eggheads are right, that car won’t even be running in another couple hours.”

  “Is that why you just sold out two members of the Resistance?” Apple asked.

  “Sold out? You mean Sunshine and Speedy?”

  “Well, I know them as Sally and Victoria. And, yes, I heard you back there. You were egging him on. You had to practically beg that Grey to go after them, to send them to some re-education camp, or worse.” She crossed her arms in front of herself and looked out the window. “I didn’t know you were that sore about getting beat up by a girl.”

  Hero couldn’t help but laugh hard.

  “It’s not funny!” Apple yelled.

  “Of course it is,” Hero replied between laughs. “Kid, that’s their job. Why do we even have a blocker car if not for situations like this? What did you think that I was going to do when we got to the trailer and they found out what we were carrying?”

  “You were going to shoot them, of course.”

  “Of course I was going to try. Zorflox trusted me so much, he didn’t even have his weapon unholstered. I don’t know if the robot was even armed. Both were disoriented due to the sun’s radiation. I probably had a three in four chance of catching them both unaware. But what about the cameras?” Hero asked.

  “They might have been affected by the radiation already,” Apple said.

  Hero shrugged. “The robot wasn’t. And how about the car parked behind us, the next one to get inspected. Do you think they would have identified us if I had shot up an alien in front of them?”

  Apple pushed her nose into the air. “Not if they care about the future of the human race.”

  “Is that what you think we look like when we shoot up the cops? We look like drug runners, or human smugglers, or worse. Are you going to take the time to go back there and explain to them why they should risk being sent to a re-education camp just to cover for us?”

  Apple was even more pouty. “I suppose not,” she said.

  The HAM radio came to life above him. It was Maxwell’s voice now. “Hero, this is Mad Max. What’s this about the Greys?”

  Hero reached up and was about to key the mic when Apple spoke up. “Do you think they’ll be okay?”

  “You mean Sunshine and Speedy?”

  Apple opened her mouth, probably to correct him about their names again, but instead just nodded.

  “I sure hope so,” Hero said.

  10

  Speedy passed the minivan on the right, going about eighty-five miles per hour. She hated to pass people on the right, but she hated that they were going slow in the fast lane even more.

  “Do you see him?” Speedy asked over the roar of the wind whipping past them. She was beginning to regret putting the top down.

  Sunshine got on her knees and hugged the back of her chair, looking out the rear window. “No, not yet. Maybe Hero used the distraction to take him out.”

  Speedy bit her lip. She pushed the car to ninety miles per hour, hoping that Sunshine was right. “Maybe his car wouldn’t start.”

  Sunshine shook her head. “All these other cars on the road are moving just fine. We haven’t seen the real impact of the solar storm yet.” Sunshine was right and Speedy knew it. All she knew was that she had to get out of there, and fast. Sunshine must have felt her push down harder on the accelerator, so she gave her a comforting grip on the shoulder. “Hey, we’ve been in worse situations than this.”

  Speedy giggled. “Definitely. Remember the Greys chasing us in Montreal?”

  “I was thinking about the spot in Miami, when those guys saw me planting that bomb on the boat. We couldn’t just stomp on the accelerator, then,” Sunshine said.

  “No, I guess not.” She slowed down a little bit, enough that they’d have a little more of a reaction time if something unexpected happened anyway.

  “Uh oh,” Sunshine said.

  “Do you see him?”

  “Yeah, coming up fast. Looks like a Crown Vic.” Sunshine watched as cars began pulling over for the flashing lights coming up behind them. “He’s really fast.”

  “Okay. We can do this,” Speedy said.

  “Of course we can,” Sunshine said, turning around and buckling her seat belt. She grabbed an assault rifle from under a blanket in the back seat. “I’m going to hold off on shooting him until he gets closer, so I can limit collateral damage.”

  Speedy nodded and grunted in agreement. She passed a slow-moving big rig and kept going. It was part of a line of big trucks, and seeing them made her think of Hero’s truck. “I wonder…” she said out loud. She grabbed the handset to her CB radio and keyed it. “Breaker 1-9, this is Speedy. Anyone got their ears on from the convoy that just passed mile marker 60?”

  There was a moment of silence, then a voice came on. “Speedy, this is Big Jim. I’m in that convoy and I read you five by five.”

  “Big Jim, glad to hear from you. I’m in the Mustang passing ya'll on the left.”

  “I see you. I’m two trucks up from you, the grey Peter Car. What can I do for you, darlin’?”

  Sunshine squinted her eyes, then found a Peterbilt semi truck a few car lengths ahead of them. Speedy pulled up alongside it. “Me and my old lady flashed a bear up the road, but his Grey partner didn’t take kindly to it. You think you can do a turtle race for a little bit?”

  “That Grey’s chasing you over a little thing like a naked titty?” came the response.

  Speedy put down the hand mic. “You’re gonna have to flash him,” she said to Sunshine.

  “Me? This was your idea, why don’t you do it?” Sunshine asked.

  “I’m driving. Besides…” She looked down at Sunshine’s chest, which was substantially bigger than Speedy’s.

  “Ugh. Fine. You always get us into these situations,” Sunshine said. She unbuckled her seat belt again, then got up on her knees. She lifted her tank top up, then waved her body back and forth, giving Big Jim a good look at her boobs. She smiled and whooped before putting her tank top back down and sitting back down.

  The CB radio came back on. “Alright darlin’, I can se
e why he got so worked up. Decatur, can you give these young ladies a little breathing room?”

  “10-4,” came another voice over the radio. Speedy looked in her rear-view mirror. The rear vehicle in the convoy changed lanes, then matched speed with the truck in front of him, blocking the left lane from being used as well as the right lane.

  “A turtle race, huh? Where’d you learn that one?” Sunshine asked.

  “Aw, come on. You told me that you and Hero practically lived out of that big rig when you were in LA,” Speedy said. “You never picked up on anything he said?”

  “I mostly tried to ignore him. That Southern charm never really worked on me,” Sunshine said.

  “Pffft. Yeah right.” The truck in the left lane had pulled a little bit ahead of the truck in the right lane, and the cop car pulled right into that pocket. “Now’s our chance,” Speedy said, pulling into the right lane in front of Big Jim.

  “What’s the plan?” Sunshine asked.

  “Buckle your seat belt,” Speedy said, as if that was a plan. There was a frontage road on the right, and a little side road intersected it shortly. “Hang on!” She gunned the engine and pulled off the road, straight into a pull-off to get on the frontage road. Speedy didn’t slow down, though. She went straight on the frontage road, keeping pace with the convoy, until she was able to turn right onto the side street, then immediately off the road, pulling to a stop.

  Speedy watched as all the trucks rolled by, with the cop car still stuck to the left of a semi truck. If it had seen her, it would have slammed on its brakes and pulled off the road, but it kept right on with the convoy.

  “Alright, Big Jim, we’re clear. Next time we meet, I’ll flash you my tits as well,” Speedy said into the hand set.

  “That’s a biiiiiig 10-4, darlin’. Hope to see you soon,” Big Jim said.

  They sat there for a moment and caught their breath. “I’m gonna put the top back up, okay?”

  “Sounds good,” Sunshine said.

  Suddenly, the CB chirped again. “Speedy, this is Hero. Can you get your ears on Breaker 1-7?”

  Speedy changed the channel, waited a few seconds, then keyed the mic. “Hero, this is Speedy. It’s good to hear your voice.”

  “Sorry it took us so long, we were radioing something back to your boss. Now, what’s this I hear about you flashing your tits?”

  11

  Sheriff Zorflox kicked the tires of his broken police cruiser again, a gesture he learned from watching Earth movies. He couldn’t believe it. He'd been right behind that red Mustang when things started going wrong.

  First, the car had turned off completely, causing him to reboot it on the side of the road. Then, when it started back up, it slowed to a crawl, as if the battery were completely drained. He had barely gotten it up an exit ramp. The only piece of good luck he had had all day was that the police station was less than a mile off the road in Wharton.

  JR’s diagnostics were just coming up with errors. Everything he did seemed to be coming up with errors. He seemed to be getting dumber and dumber, something that was supposed to be impossible for the Mark 2 line of JR robots.

  “Ah ah ah you’re under arrest, pardner!” JR yelled at nobody in particular. The other police officers around the building looked up at him, but then went back to their work, seemingly nervous around him. Zorflox would have taken the robot outside, but that sun had gotten so bright that he didn't want to leave the station. He had never seen it this bright.

  A police officer came up to him. It was impossible for him to tell if it was the same human that had talked to him earlier, as humans looked mostly the same. Still, the man spoke with some familiarity to him. “Officer Zorflox, I-”

  “Sheriff. It’s Sheriff Zorflox,” he corrected the man. People stared at him, even though they tried to hide it.

  “Sheriff. Zorflox. We haven’t been able to get in contact with the alien liaison, and I’m afraid that I can’t afford to send a man out to drive you back to your post just yet. We’ve got calls coming in from all over about cars just randomly dying on the road,” the police officer said.

  “That is unfortunate. You will provide me with one of your own police cruisers that is still functioning so that I may continue my pursuit of a criminal,” Sheriff Zorflox informed him.

  The police officer laughed. “I can’t do that either. All we have left at the station are our old cruisers that we haven’t gotten rid of yet, but I’m going to need to use those, too. You and your robot are welcome to stay here as long as you need. You can even use my office if you need to.”

  “That is unacceptable. Provide me with a police cruiser, Officer…” He paused to read the name on the badge. “Officer En-goo-yun.”

  “It’s pronounced Nguyen. As in, win or lose, I still can’t spare you a car.”

  “Officer Nguyen. Provide me with a police cruiser or I will report you to the authorities. Perhaps some time at the re-education camp will remind you who is in charge of law enforcement,” Sheriff Zorflox said. The room went silent. “Perhaps you all need to learn a lesson about the law.”

  “Now wait just a minute, Sheriff,” the police officer said. “I think I can find something for you.”

  Zorflox was pleased. These humans weren’t so hard to deal with, once you learned how to apply the appropriate pressure. Five minutes later, a police officer, maybe the same one, returned with a set of car keys.

  “She’s pulled up around front. Just be careful. She pulls a little bit to the left if you aren’t careful.”

  “Thank you, Officer Nguyen.”

  “Um, it’s Officer Black. I can get Officer Nguyen if you need him.”

  The alien looked down at the police officer’s name tag. Sure enough, it said “Black” on it. He started for the door. “No, that will not be necessary. Come on, JR,” he said.

  “Be right there, Boss!” JR yelled. He started rolling in the wrong direction.

  Zorflox sighed and grabbed JR by the manipulator arm. He headed outside. The sun had somehow gotten even brighter since the last time he looked, which he thought was impossible. He was starting to see streaks in his vision whenever he moved, as if the sunglasses were doing nothing to protect him.

  The police cruiser in front of him was about fifty years old and rusting. The paint was peeling off, and the bumper was loose. Still, it looked like it was still relatively in one piece, and “Wharton Police Department” was painted proudly across the side. He opened the passenger side door and said, “Get in the car, JR.”

  JR rolled to the door. He lifted himself up on two manipulator arms and promptly fell backwards. “Oops, I fell down, Boss!”

  “What is wrong with you, robot?” he asked. He grabbed the robot and pushed him back to standing position, then pushed him into the passenger side seat. He made sure all the robot’s manipulator arms were in the car, then closed the door on him. The impact of the door against his wheels sent the robot halfway into the driver’s seat. When Zorflox got in the driver’s seat, he had to push the robot in order to make enough room for him to drive.

  The sun was still murder on his eyes, even through the windshield. He pulled the visor down, hoping that it would help. It did help his eyes, but he could even feel a burning sensation on his skin now.

  He stopped at the ramp to get back on the highway. Should he go east, back to his post, and finish the day’s work? Or should he go west, pursue this mysterious car, and find out what their issue was?

  There were many reasons to go back to his post, but one thing was for certain. He didn’t want to go back toward the sun in the east. And, he realized, Mr. Bill Reynolds, his new pardner from Texas, would have already left the checkpoint. Maybe if he traveled west, he would see him. It was a long shot, but it was worth wishing for.

  He’d go west, he decided. But first, before he got back on the highway, he’d have to go to a local human store. There, they’d be able to get him some of what Bill had called “SPF 100”.

  12

 
; Hero pulled into the truck stop right at noon, just behind Speedy and her Mustang. They took spots on opposites sides of a gas pump. The credit card readers weren't working, so he sent Apple inside to pay for both pumps with cash and then get a seat at the diner. He pulled out the green diesel pump and began to fuel up Alexandria. It was lucky there was a diesel station here. There weren't many left these days. He watched Apple go inside, then went over to where Speedy and Sunshine were pumping the Mustang full of gas.

  Speedy shimmied past the gas pump and gave him a big hug, then kissed him tenderly. “I was beginning to wonder if you were gonna make it out of there.”

  “Yeah. I mean I had to flip off a Grey and flash a trucker my tits in the first hour we’re on the road,” Sunshine said, glaring at him a little bit. “This mission is going great so far.”

  “I’m just glad those tits got you out of trouble again,” Hero said, leaning in and giving her a kiss as well. To any outsider, it would have looked weird, with Hero kissing both girls. Still, Hero felt totally comfortable, even out here in public. Certainly neither girl was objecting. “And thanks for saving my ass back there. I wasn’t sure you’d get my message.”

  Speedy and Sunshine looked at each other. “What message?” Sunshine asked.

  “You know, the message. I keyed in S-O-S on the CB radio.”

  Sunshine laughed. “We didn’t get that message.”

  “I mean, I heard some static crackling, but I figured that somebody just leaned up against the button or something,” Speedy said.

  “Then how’d you girls know to come rescue me?” Hero asked.

  “Well, Apple called us,” Sunshine said. “I mean, she must have remembered to hit the button about halfway through her message, and she forgot to take her finger off the button after she was done talking, but it was pretty clear. 'Hero’s in trouble. They want to take a look at what’s in the back.' We couldn’t let that happen.”